One year ago, I became a mother. My life took on an entirely new role. My life changed.
I remember not believing that it was happening, that we were going to have a baby. Yes, I was pregnant, and yes, I was one week from our due date, but I just still could never fathom how life changing and just purely radical motherhood would be. After being in labor since Thursday, I knew, in those super early hours of Saturday January 14th that something had shifted, my body had changed, the labor had changed. We packed up, and drove to the hospital, getting there at 3am. It truly is amazing how your body knows what to do. I labored for what seemed like forever, and after 1.5 hours of pushing, our little girl, Amelia June was born at 1:27 pm on Saturday, January 14, 2017. I remember after she was born, they laid her on my chest, and my husband and I stroked her forehead and she stopped crying, looking around at us. I looked outside the window from the hospital, and it had started snowing very lightly, and it was so beautiful. I was in shock, and had suddenly come out of the haze of labor. I felt clear minded, so SO happy, relieved, and blissed out. I was in awe of how naturally my husband took to being a father, right away. She was the best thing that ever happened to us. Just like that, we took on new roles in life, forever changing us.
Our little Amelia June has been on this Earth for one whole year. She has graced this world with radiant love, laughter, smiles, and happiness. There were so many times when I would watch her fall asleep in the early hours of the morning and wonder why I was chosen to be her mother, was I worthy of such an important role in life? The thing is, babies come into our lives, and they become our greatest teachers. They teach us to look deep within, and see things about ourselves we didn’t know were there, or didn’t want to know were there. My baby has challenged me to learn to let go, (which must be an ever lasting theme of parenthood) and to refocus on the most important things. She has caused me to start to re-write my story, to move past things that don’t serve me. Her coming into our lives was a new beginning, and we could write it however we wanted to now. She has taught me that I am stronger than I ever knew I was. She has shown me that it is ok and good to take new steps in life, to go towards my goals, and to work hard, that change is good.
Sometimes I look at her, and I am still in disbelief that I am a mother. But I truly love this role, I love being able to show a little one the things that make me so happy. I love our hikes through the woods, showing her my favorite spots, beautiful leaves, letting her feel running water. I love cooking food for her and watching her try new things. I love snuggling up with her and watching a movie together. One of my favorite things though, simply enough, has to be the first few moments of the day, when we wake up, and I look over at her, and she gives me a huge smile, every damn time. What a beautiful way to start each and every day.
To my golden, sunshiny baby,
Amelia, you are one year old. One year ago, you gave me the greatest task of all in life, to be your mother, to be your guide, to show you how wonderful this life can be. I want you to know, there are no limits in life. You can do anything you wish, you can be anything you want. Your biggest dreams in life? You can make it happen. The world can be confusing right now, it seems like there is a lot of hate and strife, but if you keep smiling like you do, and spreading your cheer, you can make a difference, and make big changes in this world. I want you to learn to love the feeling of a summer sunshine on your skin, and salty water in your hair. I want you to relish in the silence and beauty of a winter snow. I want you to learn to love and respect the planet Earth and all that lives upon it. I want you to know that happiness lies in your connections with people and your experiences that bring a smile to your face. Go after what makes you happy. Go after what excites you. Your life is only just beginning, and I can’t wait to watch you grow, and learn. You are a special, one of a kind kid. You’ll never understand how much you are loved.
Happy Birthday Amelia June.